I feel I am always torn between two sides. A constant moral dilemma or internal struggle. Everyday is a fight within the realms of my own imagination. As a writer, this is all magnified. Every editor I have spoken with has offered completely opposing advice than the one previous. One tells me to focus on myself since I am not an expert about Haiti. Another tells me to leave myself out of it. And some assure me to find myself somewhere in between. (Add family and friends into the mix and my head’s spinning from so many opinions.) So now I sit, exhausted, trying to get in my daily writing session and my fingers are paralyzed from wrestling with so many demons. Do I discuss the events of the day? A Haiti I am experiencing as a fresh face, so far from ever being an expert? Or do I delve into my emotional reactions to what’s going on around me? Maybe I’m writing too much and should keep these blogs to a minimal summary of the day. I find myself so tattered in what to say I can’t say anything, and for me that is something new and frustrating.
So what to do?
I have wondered since I have been in Leogane why HODR hasn’t gathered the community together and asked them what they want. We, as humans, tend to assume we know what others want and need. But I can’t help but imagine what sort of responses would arise if we directly asked the Haitians of Leogane what they wanted or needed. So… here is my proposal: I leave it to you, dear reader. Leave me a comment, write an email, send a smoke signal – let me know what you prefer I focus on and that is what I’ll do, since after all this blog is for you (ok, well mostly for you.)
Where is Jesus? Where is he in my thinking, my doing, my situation, my surroundings....where is he in Haiti? Find Him there, or anything you do or say will be empty, void of life, and answer-less for the answers are not in us. The answer to all of me, all of you, all of Haiti, and all of life and every painful situation, is in his Word...in Jesus, and his name IS the Word of God(rev19:13). Loving you always & keeping you in prayer. Aunt Debbie
ReplyDeleteI have loved your posts from the very beginning and that's what makes me keep coming back. I love to hear about your day, about the people and your reactions to life in Haiti. Don't think about it so much -- just keep doing what you're doing. It's from your heart and I like it because I can see it, feel it, taste it with you. Your reactions to the people and the situations, along with your descriptions are uniquely you. Keep up the good work. God bless you and let Him guide your fingers.
ReplyDeleteAng
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, this is the first time I'm sitting down and reading your blog and I can't stop. I'm almost sad that I'm almost done and will have to wait til tomorrow to continue. Your words are so genuine. Your stories are inspiring. Continue to write free from the restraints of an editor and do what you always do... speak from your heart. You can edit later.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Donna
I started to read what everyone's comments were out of curiosity and right before I stopped myself - so I could form my own opinion - I read Diana's line about keep doing what you're doing b/c it keeps her coming back. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeletePlus, God's plan is always unfolding and as you proved in your "full circle" blog. This entire blog will reach far beyond your readers of today.
You're very good at paying attention to the signs and then following them - as you've shown by asking us what we need based on wondering what Haitians need. There's no doubt, He'll keep you posted through your "prayer blogs" if you need to change anything. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide.
Hugs and love
Sorry my responses are so delayed. No excuse compared to what Haitians face each day, so I'll just leave you with an apology for focusing on memememememe.